The Furlough

To start off, let's establish a neutral definition provide courtesy of Wikipedia:
(emphasis added by pattern author)

A furlough (IPA: /ˈfɝloʊ/) (from Dutch: "verlof") is a temporary leave of absence, especially from duty in the armed services or from a prison term. In these cases, a furlough is a vacation. In some Commonwealth countries (such as Australia and New Zealand), furlough is an employee benefit known as long service leave.

A furlough may also be part of a work release program.

A furlough is sometimes involuntary because of work conditions. In this case, the furlough is more like a temporary layoff.

The Pattern

Voluntary Scenario #1

After a period of Missed A Spot related activities, like a child, you meander to your Wifey to ask if you can go somewhere, typically with friends. After the Inquisition, you are granted a leave, or in this case - a furlough.

Voluntary Scenario #2

You're out on a limb and ask to go out with some friends. Much to your surprise, your request is granted... followed by the revelation that she is planning on going out on "The View" (coming). Now it is clear. The exception is if you have children that require supervision (whilst she's on "The View"), in which case this pattern ceases and the Mr. Mom (coming) pattern begins.

Usage

Buddy: You wanna go see Step Brothers?

You: I'll see if I can get a Furlough.

Buddy: Yeah, I better ask for one too.

Typically, this type of Furlough is granted and associated with the Bromance pattern.

Involuntary Scenario #1

You made the mistake of answering the Does This Make Me Look Fat...? or some other communication blunder, forgotten task, etc. and you are placed on an involuntary (subjective) "leave".

What did you do with the reciept?

(related to I can always take it back.) Months later......

Out of site, out of mind is the name of the game here. You find yourself trying to find something and whala, there it is staring at you like an angry Liger.

Like a buried treasure you find all the items, still in the bag, that were vowed to be taken back.

You: Honey (very lovingly because you know the rage from hell that could arise) Did you have a chance to take the stuff to the store?

Her: What are you talking about, you mean the stuff i picked up today? (opens the cycle all over again because you had no idea about these purchases)

You: (standing there with a Santa size bag) This stuff...

Her: Oh yeah...that stuff.... uh... I don't know where the receipt is. i think it was lost when you cleaned the car out.

I Can Always Take It Back

(Related to: Look What I Got, The Round Down)

Alright. Despite your best attempts to the contrary, your reaction to the Look What I Got unveiling wasn't exactly what she hoped for.

You: How much was it?

Her: (see The Round Down)

At this point, your response is based on logic and focused attempts to stay neutral.

You: Do we really need to spend money for that now? (or something of that nature)

Somehow, logic wins... at least for that moment.

Her: I can always take it back...

Look What I Got...

(Related to I'll Be Right Back)

Her eyes are wide and perma-grin is setting in...
Energy is high and she is desperately hoping that this fever is contagious...

(Enter faint sound of drumroll)
Her: Look what I got...

Never fails. After your woman returns from a took-me-longer-than-I-thought excursion, she will be ecstatic about her spoils of the day. Usually her excitement comes in a bag with a cleverly concealed receipt. You do everything you can not to roll your eyes and sigh 'here we go again'. Careful, you're being watched. Closely. Any show of dissatisfaction will be met with crash and burn.

I believe this pattern relates to a primal instinct when the woman of the species were the hunters for the pack and responsible for bringing home the proverbial bacon. It might not be bacon but for her it's no less proud and accomplished.

The Round Down....

(Derived from "Look what I got")

Given the thorough analysis on the "Look what I got.." pattern. There is a common thread that always accompanies the announcement of Look what I got, it was only $$ dollars.

In a very exited tone the declaration of the amount is always rounded down.

Example: Rounded Amount= $100.00 Actual Amount= $129.99

Maybe there is a cardinal rule that you never include the tax or tip...


...."Priceless"

Does this make me look fat?...

???????? -


NEVER, NEVER answer this question, There is no correct answer...

Missed A Spot

You know the scene... It can be anything but here's one that comes to mind:

You clean up the house, take care of the kids, cook dinner, go shopping... whatever. You're proud. You're hoping it will be noticed and appreciated (maybe with dividends). Instead of 'wow, the house looks great' or 'thank you' - it's always about what you didn't do.

You didn't wash the pan out?
Did you remember to get milk?
Why didn't you put the kids to bed earlier?

Gee, thanks.